Nic, you work with what's elemental, that everyone should be grappling with. Condensing you to a sentence, you can look to Papaji, who sent us so many non-dual teachers. My teacher would say that Papaji said that the only thing that gets in the way of finding is seeking.
Over the years I have probably said what is to be said in a single sentence. Maybe two. I shall look back.
Yes to Papaji’s words. I know that. I really know that. Not entirely sure who he is, I will search the internet.
For an age I have felt myself pulled towards whatever it is I just wrote about. It so often is the experience with the camera. And without the camera. I didn’t ask for it. I wouldn’t choose it given the choice if I’m being honest but do recognize a sense of inevitability, so try not to fight it as best I can. I can feel myself being drawn into whatever is to come.
The point at which one notices what has always been there and that one is included seems so very important. I imagine such awareness would irrevocably change the experience of a life. And I do have a very real sense of the atmosphere in which such a thing might be allowed to occur.
Anyhow, not entirely sure what next steps are. But that has probably been the case for to decades. The next step is most probably just the next thing I do.
Write some words, edit some films, then off to New York City, after watching England play in the Quarter Finals of the European Cup.
First of all, thank you to (not) TS for the courage to share a part of your truth with us...for your courage to speak it out loud. You are not alone.
To Nic:
Thank you for this note 'on becoming'.
' (*) note ‘on becoming’: existentially I imagine we are an unconditional part of it all, and always have been. Included and enough as we are. No matter the current state of our eyesight. This doesn’t however discount the many very human journeys of transformation we might choose to take - to become a better (fill in the blank) parent, partner, coach, gardener, trapeze artist, scientist, writer, money-maker, map reader, dog walker and so on.'
You have accurately articulated where I'm currently at. Although I have personally moved past the part of 'why did x,y,z, happen' and accept that certain things have happened in my life that I had absolutely no control over. However, I have still been left with the aftermath. I still explore to find better ways to cope with things such as triggers, stress, recognizing when I automatically 'dissociate' and once aware, and return to my body so that I'm 'present'. Perhaps a more appropriate word than present would be 'acceptance'. To accept what my body is experiencing and feeling so that I don't have to 'escape' from it as a coping mechanism. (learned in childhood to escape in the only way I could during acts of abuse).
Reading today's post and what (not) TS shared, it reminded me of The Second Glance again and what I wrote to you many, many years ago. David shared about his own physical 'disfigurement' and part of the problem for abuse survivors, at least many of us anyway, is that unlike someone who has a visually obvious 'deformity' or scar (like a wounded warrior or soldier), or someone who was born with a defect...abuse survivors carry wounds and scars that are not visible to the naked eye. Yet, we have definitely been impacted internally that can interfere with our ability to cope with certain things and in ways that may not be obvious to others. Yet it might be exhibited as an unnatural 'fear' to others, and they might think...why on earth is it so hard for them to do x,y,z? Because they don't know or understand the internal matrix of the person. (just a generic example)
Thanks to you both for this immensely rich offering.
the first time ‘it happened’
i described it simply as
coming home
to something i already knew
but had forgotten
it happened one day
on top of a hill
space just opened up
in stillness
i did nothing
but witness
arrival
an effortless
glimpse of reality
already there
Nic, you work with what's elemental, that everyone should be grappling with. Condensing you to a sentence, you can look to Papaji, who sent us so many non-dual teachers. My teacher would say that Papaji said that the only thing that gets in the way of finding is seeking.
For a contemporary echo, I just listened to this from Caroline Myss: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0ipXrxt1ls&t=1510s
Over the years I have probably said what is to be said in a single sentence. Maybe two. I shall look back.
Yes to Papaji’s words. I know that. I really know that. Not entirely sure who he is, I will search the internet.
For an age I have felt myself pulled towards whatever it is I just wrote about. It so often is the experience with the camera. And without the camera. I didn’t ask for it. I wouldn’t choose it given the choice if I’m being honest but do recognize a sense of inevitability, so try not to fight it as best I can. I can feel myself being drawn into whatever is to come.
The point at which one notices what has always been there and that one is included seems so very important. I imagine such awareness would irrevocably change the experience of a life. And I do have a very real sense of the atmosphere in which such a thing might be allowed to occur.
Anyhow, not entirely sure what next steps are. But that has probably been the case for to decades. The next step is most probably just the next thing I do.
Write some words, edit some films, then off to New York City, after watching England play in the Quarter Finals of the European Cup.
Chop wood, carry water. What else is there to *do*?
First of all, thank you to (not) TS for the courage to share a part of your truth with us...for your courage to speak it out loud. You are not alone.
To Nic:
Thank you for this note 'on becoming'.
' (*) note ‘on becoming’: existentially I imagine we are an unconditional part of it all, and always have been. Included and enough as we are. No matter the current state of our eyesight. This doesn’t however discount the many very human journeys of transformation we might choose to take - to become a better (fill in the blank) parent, partner, coach, gardener, trapeze artist, scientist, writer, money-maker, map reader, dog walker and so on.'
You have accurately articulated where I'm currently at. Although I have personally moved past the part of 'why did x,y,z, happen' and accept that certain things have happened in my life that I had absolutely no control over. However, I have still been left with the aftermath. I still explore to find better ways to cope with things such as triggers, stress, recognizing when I automatically 'dissociate' and once aware, and return to my body so that I'm 'present'. Perhaps a more appropriate word than present would be 'acceptance'. To accept what my body is experiencing and feeling so that I don't have to 'escape' from it as a coping mechanism. (learned in childhood to escape in the only way I could during acts of abuse).
Reading today's post and what (not) TS shared, it reminded me of The Second Glance again and what I wrote to you many, many years ago. David shared about his own physical 'disfigurement' and part of the problem for abuse survivors, at least many of us anyway, is that unlike someone who has a visually obvious 'deformity' or scar (like a wounded warrior or soldier), or someone who was born with a defect...abuse survivors carry wounds and scars that are not visible to the naked eye. Yet, we have definitely been impacted internally that can interfere with our ability to cope with certain things and in ways that may not be obvious to others. Yet it might be exhibited as an unnatural 'fear' to others, and they might think...why on earth is it so hard for them to do x,y,z? Because they don't know or understand the internal matrix of the person. (just a generic example)
Thanks to you both for this immensely rich offering.
“still been left with the aftermath”
Yes exactly true, hugs
Dear Friend, Dear Friend TS,
this exchange is a gift. It is like a wave touching the sand of the beach. The sand stays wet of some time. Then the sun changes the sand.
The water seems to be gone. But it is not.
Thank you very much
Joost
YES!!! Maybe Just Our Generation!! The Frequency Vibration Sound!!! This Quantum Field Raising Humanity!!!🦋🎶👍
Which generation?!
Those who are alive right now, perhaps?
“And I do have a very real sense of the atmosphere in which such a thing might be allowed to occur” yes that’s it!