On considering this I realize that I have made so many films on the subject! Including these few minutes with @ByronKatie who has always wondered if 'it is true' - https://soulbiographies.com/library/is-it-true/
Perhaps a never-ending quest! Earlier you mentioned how the mind is duplicitous, and I would have to agree! Each of us contain a multitude of inner voices that can represent any number of beliefs, even if mostly unconscious or unknown to ourselves. And often, these inner voices do not always agree with each other. Hence, one of the reasons why there may be an internal war or struggle.
Words by themselves have little power. However, the beliefs we have about those words are extremely powerful. Moreso, how significant someone is to us, gives words their power. Because we believe them. And not just their words. We often believe how the significant people in our lives treat us. Especially as children. When a child is told by the most significant people in their lives that they are stupid, worthless, no good, etc. Eventually, the child believes it. When a child is treated as if they are worthless, eventually they believe it. And then it becomes reinforced over and over again in different relationships. It is a nice idea that it would only take the magic of one person to undo a lifetime of false beliefs but in my experience, it doesn't work that way. Especially if words and actions do not line up. 'Of all the judgments we pass in life, none is as important as the one we pass on ourselves, for that judgment touches the very center of our existence.' ~Nathaniel Branden
Please note, the above is a very generalized example of the dilemma and does not accurately depict my life or any other person I know. It was generalized and simplified to keep it somewhat short.
Yes. Isn’t the mind a duplicitous thing. And the shaping of our reality complex. I don’t pretend to understand any of the design. And there most probably isn’t a panacea for all. But I do know that in a still moment of almost no time, something can come into focus/experience because it is essentially a natural phenomena that has always been there. And I suspect that such a sighting might have an effect on one’s trajectory from there on in. I am not sure such a thing can be unseen, and so it may well question the strongly held assumptions from the background.
I also reckon becoming aware of this natural phenomena (oneself underneath it all) would also lead one to absolutely not tell another that they are stupid, worthless, no good, or any shade of damaging untrue statement.
And, it is never to do with the magic of any person. I know we are all addicted to working out how access ‘our true selves’ and potential. But if it is a natural occurring thing (i.e. always there) then surely stillness (the subtraction of everything in the way) might be the way to become aware. And that is in the realm of nothing, not the (magical) act or knowledge of any person.
Unfortunately this does not suit words. But it does suit nothing.
You wrote, 'And I suspect that such a sighting might have an effect on one’s trajectory from there on in. I am not sure such a thing can be unseen, and so it may well question the strongly held assumptions from the background.'
This immediately brought to mind the 'Myself Without Apology' Soul Biography and I could see her in my mind saying the words, 'I belong....and I don't have to earn it.'
In that moment of stillness, I believe she experienced that awareness.
Do you know if that experience stayed with her beyond that moment or did the cares of the world crowd it out again and cover it up? Or was she able to hold on to that precious awareness to the present time?
She did. And I just emailed her to ask what stayed with her, and if anything changed over time. Hope I have her email right. I will report back.
That really was an accidental filming. It had not been scheduled. But I was there (Cleveland OH, Case Western Business School) with my cameras and then ...
Despite moments of stillness in which I've experienced the awareness that 'I belong. . . .and (most importantly) that I don't have to earn it', this experience hasn't stayed with me beyond a moment.. as my life experiences have covered it up again. So it has felt quite fleeting. . .and my awareness becomes diluted, vague, and I begin to question if it was even real. I find myself looking to feel this awareness again. The discrepancy between this temporary inner knowing, and what life has shown me to the contrary, is the place of my suffering or angst. Perhaps this 'addiction to working out how to access our true selves' that Nic speaks of is the place where I'm stuck. . .in wanting, trying, failing. . .to feel/know again (for longer than a moment) that I don't have to earn this belonging. This tells me more stillness might be the only way to become aware and grounded in such an awareness.
I am not sure about more stillness. As stillness is what there is, noticeable on the putting down of all that is in its way. I run out of words, but do experiment with those still moments (easier to show than to speak about). Meeting on 27 July. You’d be most welcome - https://nicaskew.substack.com/p/meet-ups Camera on or off.
When I speak of 'more stillness', I'm specifically talking about not falling prey to our addiction to working out how to access our true selves. Stopping this desperate pursuit of 'trying to know how' to access our true selves...and instead just allowing whatever is organic to rise within us. . .and this is way more likely when I keep myself grounded, open and centred..so I'm available to new awarenesses whenever they arrive. Does that express it better?
Thank you for sharing, Katie. I, too, have felt this way at times; the dissonance between the intellectual 'knowing' that I am good enough just as I am, that I don't have to earn it, but sometimes the reality of life circumstances can drown out that 'knowing'. Perhaps because that knowing is still so fragile and the root has not become strong enough yet. However, I feel that it has become much stronger than it used to be. And I found it helpful for myself to no longer focus on some conscious task of uncovering my true self. Instead, I am paying more attention to acknowledging what I think and feel; to be more EMBODIED rather than my lifetime coping mechanism of dissociation or out of body experience. Or staying in the thinking/rationale mind rather than staying inside my body. I hope this is making sense. Thanks again for sharing your experience.
“a still moment of almost no time, something can come into focus/experience” “such a sighting might have an effect on one’s trajectory from there on in.”
The Girl in the Entrance Hall has changed my trajectory!!!
I have many moments that seem to change something in me, or perhaps have some sense of the irrelevant fall away. Being in that (actual) entrance hall was one such moment.
What a wonderful “mechanism” we are / have as humans. It is so easy to get lost in life, while on the other hand we need to get lost, whatever that means. In the end we need one another which will lead to both love and misunderstandings.
On considering this I realize that I have made so many films on the subject! Including these few minutes with @ByronKatie who has always wondered if 'it is true' - https://soulbiographies.com/library/is-it-true/
Back in 2013, I wrote a post titled, The Quest for Truth; an exploration of something similar.
https://tweetconnection.com/2013/02/25/the-quest-for-truth/
Perhaps a never-ending quest! Earlier you mentioned how the mind is duplicitous, and I would have to agree! Each of us contain a multitude of inner voices that can represent any number of beliefs, even if mostly unconscious or unknown to ourselves. And often, these inner voices do not always agree with each other. Hence, one of the reasons why there may be an internal war or struggle.
Words by themselves have little power. However, the beliefs we have about those words are extremely powerful. Moreso, how significant someone is to us, gives words their power. Because we believe them. And not just their words. We often believe how the significant people in our lives treat us. Especially as children. When a child is told by the most significant people in their lives that they are stupid, worthless, no good, etc. Eventually, the child believes it. When a child is treated as if they are worthless, eventually they believe it. And then it becomes reinforced over and over again in different relationships. It is a nice idea that it would only take the magic of one person to undo a lifetime of false beliefs but in my experience, it doesn't work that way. Especially if words and actions do not line up. 'Of all the judgments we pass in life, none is as important as the one we pass on ourselves, for that judgment touches the very center of our existence.' ~Nathaniel Branden
Please note, the above is a very generalized example of the dilemma and does not accurately depict my life or any other person I know. It was generalized and simplified to keep it somewhat short.
Yes. Isn’t the mind a duplicitous thing. And the shaping of our reality complex. I don’t pretend to understand any of the design. And there most probably isn’t a panacea for all. But I do know that in a still moment of almost no time, something can come into focus/experience because it is essentially a natural phenomena that has always been there. And I suspect that such a sighting might have an effect on one’s trajectory from there on in. I am not sure such a thing can be unseen, and so it may well question the strongly held assumptions from the background.
I also reckon becoming aware of this natural phenomena (oneself underneath it all) would also lead one to absolutely not tell another that they are stupid, worthless, no good, or any shade of damaging untrue statement.
And, it is never to do with the magic of any person. I know we are all addicted to working out how access ‘our true selves’ and potential. But if it is a natural occurring thing (i.e. always there) then surely stillness (the subtraction of everything in the way) might be the way to become aware. And that is in the realm of nothing, not the (magical) act or knowledge of any person.
Unfortunately this does not suit words. But it does suit nothing.
You wrote, 'And I suspect that such a sighting might have an effect on one’s trajectory from there on in. I am not sure such a thing can be unseen, and so it may well question the strongly held assumptions from the background.'
This immediately brought to mind the 'Myself Without Apology' Soul Biography and I could see her in my mind saying the words, 'I belong....and I don't have to earn it.'
https://soulbiographies.com/library/myself-without-apology/
In that moment of stillness, I believe she experienced that awareness.
Do you know if that experience stayed with her beyond that moment or did the cares of the world crowd it out again and cover it up? Or was she able to hold on to that precious awareness to the present time?
Thanks for sharing Nic.
She did. And I just emailed her to ask what stayed with her, and if anything changed over time. Hope I have her email right. I will report back.
That really was an accidental filming. It had not been scheduled. But I was there (Cleveland OH, Case Western Business School) with my cameras and then ...
Despite moments of stillness in which I've experienced the awareness that 'I belong. . . .and (most importantly) that I don't have to earn it', this experience hasn't stayed with me beyond a moment.. as my life experiences have covered it up again. So it has felt quite fleeting. . .and my awareness becomes diluted, vague, and I begin to question if it was even real. I find myself looking to feel this awareness again. The discrepancy between this temporary inner knowing, and what life has shown me to the contrary, is the place of my suffering or angst. Perhaps this 'addiction to working out how to access our true selves' that Nic speaks of is the place where I'm stuck. . .in wanting, trying, failing. . .to feel/know again (for longer than a moment) that I don't have to earn this belonging. This tells me more stillness might be the only way to become aware and grounded in such an awareness.
I am not sure about more stillness. As stillness is what there is, noticeable on the putting down of all that is in its way. I run out of words, but do experiment with those still moments (easier to show than to speak about). Meeting on 27 July. You’d be most welcome - https://nicaskew.substack.com/p/meet-ups Camera on or off.
When I speak of 'more stillness', I'm specifically talking about not falling prey to our addiction to working out how to access our true selves. Stopping this desperate pursuit of 'trying to know how' to access our true selves...and instead just allowing whatever is organic to rise within us. . .and this is way more likely when I keep myself grounded, open and centred..so I'm available to new awarenesses whenever they arrive. Does that express it better?
Thank you for sharing, Katie. I, too, have felt this way at times; the dissonance between the intellectual 'knowing' that I am good enough just as I am, that I don't have to earn it, but sometimes the reality of life circumstances can drown out that 'knowing'. Perhaps because that knowing is still so fragile and the root has not become strong enough yet. However, I feel that it has become much stronger than it used to be. And I found it helpful for myself to no longer focus on some conscious task of uncovering my true self. Instead, I am paying more attention to acknowledging what I think and feel; to be more EMBODIED rather than my lifetime coping mechanism of dissociation or out of body experience. Or staying in the thinking/rationale mind rather than staying inside my body. I hope this is making sense. Thanks again for sharing your experience.
beyond the entrance hall
lies a waiting room
here there is space to settle
rest-in
listen-in
soften the mind
allowing space
for truth to arrive
Yes! Arrive. I imagine I film like that (sometimes at least). Start With Nothing - Then, Let It. That's how I best describe it.
yes, it’s how I meditate and connect
deeply to myself and to others
settle
wait
arrive
wait
allow
i see the same thing in your work
To quote Nic
“a still moment of almost no time, something can come into focus/experience” “such a sighting might have an effect on one’s trajectory from there on in.”
The Girl in the Entrance Hall has changed my trajectory!!!
Thank You!
I have many moments that seem to change something in me, or perhaps have some sense of the irrelevant fall away. Being in that (actual) entrance hall was one such moment.
What a wonderful “mechanism” we are / have as humans. It is so easy to get lost in life, while on the other hand we need to get lost, whatever that means. In the end we need one another which will lead to both love and misunderstandings.